Caveat Emptor (buyers beware!)
These are the three great markets for unscrupulous exploiters in the health world:
Hair-loss, weight-loss and libido-loss
You should be very wary of anyone trying to sell you anything in those areas in particular. Greed makes people ruthless -- willing to say or claim anything.
I've made this website because I like writing and I love healing. So in this regard I am in the happy position of not trying to sell you anything -- because in fact there are some things that can genuinely help.
I have been asked many times about problems of sexuality, usually by men but often by women as well. These issues can affect people's health and well-being at a profoundly deep level. Some people are very embarrassed to talk about it, others are disarmingly frank, all are deeply affected when there is any kind of problem and want to know if they have any options other than the expensive and unnatural options available from pharmaceutical medicine.
If you or someone you know is suffering from a low libido then you should definitely try a natural approach because a) you won't end up trading one problem for another as is usually the case with short-term drug fixes and b) if you do it right it will probably actually help!
Let Nature Help
Start with letting Nature help you. There are several great herbs that reliably improve health in general and libido in particular. Top of the list are both Panax Ginseng and Withania root. I have given these two herbs to so many people over the years that I am sure they are highly likely to help -- if taken correctly.
I warmly encourage anyone wanting to try these herbs (or any others for that matter) to avoid the easy trap of buying online or from a general store of some kind. I am not sure people even begin to realise just how many sub-standard herbal products are marketed under flash looking covers and convincing testimonials from doctors and patients invented by advertisers. The quality of herbs will be far higher and far more reliable if you go to a herbalist or a shop that specialises in herbal medicines. I have some practical advice on how to find a good practitioner here.
Withania and Ginseng are two great tonics that deserve a degree of trust based on their tremendous history and high level of scientific proof. They are, however, quite slow acting and as well as these I think it may certainly be worthwhile to try out two other famous libido-lifting herbs
Damiana and Epimedium are herbs that may have a faster action when needed and certainly many have found them to help over the many millennia that they have been in popular use.
I say may because the only way to know is to try. Both these herbs have been the subject of some degree of modern scientific scrutiny and Epimedium in particular looks like it has a range of action similar to the famous drug Viagra.
There are some practical 'how to' notes on the articles on each herb but again I have to emphasise how vital it is to get such remedies from a reputable supplier. In herbal medicine dosage is everything, too much will do you harm, too little (which is generally the case in many commercial products) is just wasting your time.
Make Love to make love
Once some support from Nature is in place then I think there will always be at least one area of general life that needs some care and attention. Unless you are getting really old (hmmm, what does that mean these days? 80s, 90s?) then there is likely to be something that is impairing the natural flow of energy in your body, including your sexual energy. A lot of people focus on losing weight or getting fit and hope that this will somehow magically restore their youthful zest but if this is not the real cause of the problem then such efforts may end up just making them feel more tired...
When I talk about this subject frankly with my patients it usually turns out that the main reason their libido has flagged is that they just aren't getting as intimate with their partners as they used to. Not having sex leads to having less sex, if you understand what I am trying to say. Conversely and contrary to many cultural or religious beliefs, the more you have sex the more you will want to have more sex. Absence may make the heart grow fonder but abstinence just makes the libido get colder.
For many people the best way back into getting sexually active is to drop the expectation that sex is all about penetration and orgasm and get back to their teenage years when sex was a lot more about fondling, kissing and general intimacy. For men in particular, once the expectation to 'perform' has been well and truly dropped out the window they can usually get things working in a fraction of the time that it would take if they were still trying to measure up to some mythical standard they set themselves in their early 20s.
Women equally quickly lose their interest in sex if it becomes painful or uncomfortable. Once that happens the only way to correct the problem is to have a truly great time and again the best way to do that will be to drop all expectations and be open to trying to do things differently, things that do feel good.
For any of this to work there simply has to be open communication between partners.
For many people, especially from the older generation, such an idea is almost beyond comprehension but I tell people to put their qualms and foibles aside and just forge on ahead. Get into bed together and by all means do some of the old things but also be 100% open to trying new things. Ask your partner 'do you like that?' 'does that feel good'. Likewise give them feedback as to what you like and what you want more of.
Any amount of blundering embarrassment in the beginning is worth getting your sex-life back to being great. In fact if you do things right in this department then it will probably be better than it ever was in your life -- then just see what that does to how you feel about things in general!
Remember, remove the expectation that penetration and orgasm are all that matter or all that anything has to lead to. Just drop it. You will be amazed at how much better everything can be so soon as you stop thinking how things should be.
Please understand that I cannot personally advise you, including on products or dosage, without seeing you in my clinic but ideas
on how you might find a good herbalist in your area are here.
This living 'book' is my labour of love so, wherever you are, I wish you peace & good health!
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